You’re not the only one who has tried to reduce drinking but finds themselves pouring a glass of wine at the end of a long workday (and later regretting their decision). This inner tension — Why have I done that when I said I wouldn’t do it? — is totally understandable, especially when working towards a difficult goal. This is called cognitive dissonance.
When your actions don’t match your goals or values, you can experience cognitive dissonance. Although it can be very discouraging, there are some positives. It’s often a sign of a shift in your perspective on life. You are starting to question your old habits. Change is coming.
Cognitive Dissonance and Action
Here’s how cognitive dissonance can manifest. Say you value being energized and aware during the day. (Who doesn’t, right?) You also associate alcohol with relaxing in the evenings, which is pleasant and something to look forward to. When these two tendencies clash, your mind tries to resolve the tension by choosing the easiest path.
This is often a way to justify drinking. Does this sound familiar?
Even if cognitive dissonance occurs, or if you choose a less-than-ideal course of action in response to that feeling, you are not failing. This is a sign of your concern. You’re starting your actions to be compared to your deeper values. This inner conflict is an indication that your values will win.
Cognitive Dissonance & Mindful Drinking
When you rethink your alcohol consumption, it can evoke a range of emotions. This is especially true if you have used alcohol to socialize, relax or reward yourself in the past. Cognitive dissonance is most prevalent when you are actively trying to change your life. Your old habits and your new goals are at odds.
You may notice it at moments such as:
- You can avoid being noticed by saying you are taking a break and then accepting a beverage at a party.
- You tell yourself that you will only drink at weekends but then justify a glass of wine in the middle of the week because “it was an especially tough day.”
- You can stop tracking your drink because you “have it under control.”
These examples do not mean that you aren’t serious about your goals. These examples show that you are human. You may be uncomfortable, but what can you DO about it?
Cognitive Dissonance: Strategies for Working Through It
You can think of cognitive conflict as an opportunity and not a roadblock. Here are some practical strategies that can help you overcome the tension.
1. ID the Tension
The first step is awareness. Stop and name the feeling of tug-of-war: “This feels like cognitive dissonance.” Name it, and you can break out of autopilot.
2. Reconnect with your “Why”
If your motivation begins to fade, get back to its core. Why did you initially want to reduce your drinking? Perhaps it was to get better sleep. Maybe it is about being more attentive to your children before they go to school. Perhaps it’s to feel more stable. Connecting with your loved ones can help you cut through the chaos in difficult times.
3. Reframe the Moment
Focus on the things you choose to add to life instead of what you are giving up. You’re not “missing out”, even though FOMO is powerful. You are choosing to feel better tomorrow and keeping a promise you made to yourself. This is a great reward.
4. Make a plan for sticky situations
Planning is one way to reduce cognitive discomfort. This means planning more than just which days you will drink or not–it also means thinking about context. Are you planning a happy hour? Is there a family dinner that usually includes alcohol? Make a plan ahead of time for how you will handle the situation. Bring your favourite soda. Set a limit to how many drinks you will consume. You’ll be prepared if you start feeling uncomfortable.
5. Change Your Habits
Try replacing your habit of reaching for a drink when you are not in the mood with something else that will satisfy that need. You could try a flavoured drink, go for a walk or listen to an album. The more you practice and seek alternative coping techniques, the less weight your old patterns will hold over time.
6. You can be a little lenient with yourself
Progress is the main goal. If you make a mistake, it doesn’t mean that you are back to square one. You’re still learning. It’s important to react with curiosity, not shame. What was the trigger for your decision? What could you do differently the next time? Here is where you can really grow.
Quick Exercise for Aligning Actions and Priorities
Do you want to be even more clear about the source of your dissonance? You can try this:
- List the top three reasons why you would drink less.
- Write down recent behaviours that didn’t match the reason.
- Brainstorm a single action that you could take in the next week to help you achieve your values.
It doesn’t need to be a dramatic or high-stakes exercise. Even minor adjustments, like choosing a mocktail at dinner, can make a big difference.
