You decide to reduce your spending. You tell yourself, “That’s all.” I need a rest.” By 5 pm, the resolve begins to fade. By 9 pm, you have a few drinks and are ignoring the promise that you made just hours before.
Does this sound familiar to you? You are not alone, and that doesn’t make you weak.
The feeling of regret you get after drinking alcohol is not just due to the alcohol. This is often the result of internal conflict between parts of yourself that want different things. The good news is? You can change things once you know why they happen.
You are not one person all day.
Psychologists have known for a long time that people operate using what is called Multiple Selves. George Loewenstein’s research has focused on the idea that there are many different versions of you throughout the day. You can be the morning-goal setting you or the afternoon-negotiating you. Or the evening wanting to relax and let go of the rules.
Each of them has their priorities. The one wants to be healthy for the long term. One wants long-term health. The other wants to relax. It’s for this reason that a decision taken at 8 am, such as “no alcohol tonight”, can seem completely irrelevant by 8 pm.
How can you prevent making decisions that you will regret in the future? Understanding what is driving the decisions you make will help you to avoid making them.
1. Your willpower gets depleted over the day
Decision fatigue is a psychological phenomenon. The more decisions you make during the day, the harder they become. Every email, snack, and minor dilemma can drain your mental energy.
Your willpower can be completely depleted by the evening when it comes to deciding whether you should drink or not. This is why vague promises such as “I’ll drink less tonight” don’t work. You don’t possess the mental capacity necessary to make an informed decision.
What to do instead:
Decide in advance. Precommitment is a technique that helps to moderate alcohol consumption. Decide the day before how many drinks (if any) you will have, what type of drinks and where.
Examples:
- I only drink at weekends.
- If I drink, I will start with nonalcoholic options.”
- “I don’t keep alcohol at home.”
Reduce the number of choices you make at the moment to increase your chances of staying on track and avoiding those regrets after drinking.
2. Your emotions can hijack your rational brain
Psychologists call this a “hot state”. When you are calm and logical, this is a “cold” condition. When you are stressed, excited or in an environment with a lot of social interaction, your emotional brain, also known as the “hot” one, takes over.
You might be in complete control at lunchtime but impulsive during happy hour. You can’t know how things will be at happy hour if you are still in the “you” of noon.
What to do instead:
Create a pause. Create a rule of 15 minutes before you have your first drink. Check-in with yourself during this time:
- Do I really want to drink this?
- Are you drinking because you’re tired or stressed? Or are you just going along with your friends?
- Will I still be satisfied with my decision tomorrow?
You’ll be less likely to regret drinking if you are more mindful.
3. What you drink depends on who you’re with
Have you ever noticed that your drinking habits change depending on who you are with?
You should keep it classy when you’re with coworkers. You may be able to keep things classy around coworkers. This is called social identity theory, and it explains how our behaviour matches the group that we’re with.
Your brain adjusts your drinking habits based on the “normal” behaviour of the environment.
What to do instead:
Use the friend filter. Consider who you will be spending time with before heading out. Are they heavy drinkers or not? Consider inviting someone who has similar goals. You can use them as an ally when you are under social pressure.
Determining your drinking personality can be useful before a night starts. You can tell yourself, “I am a mindful drinker.” I can have fun without going too far. This kind of self-talk is backed by science. You’re more likely to avoid regrets the next morning if you arrive with a clearly defined intention.
What to do when you become aware?
You now know the reasons why you drink differently throughout the day. The key is to stop depending on your willpower and build systems that help you achieve your goals.
Here are some practical tips to help you stay on track.
- Reduce your choices: Fewer options are better for the night. Plan your drinking in advance and not at the last minute.
- Create friction. Make drinking impulsively a little more difficult. Set a limit on the number of drinks you will drink, don’t keep alcohol in your home, and leave your credit cards behind.
- Practice a 15-minute pause. This will allow you to break out of the habit loop.
- Frame your identity as someone who drinks with mindfulness. This simple shift in mindset can help you to behave better in social situations.
Use the feedback you receive when you awaken without regret or with regret after drinking. What worked? What worked? Each experience can be used to improve your approach.
Harm Reduction: The Power of Harm Reduction
Drinking only in moderation is not necessary. Harm reduction, a public health approach that focuses on minimizing risk and not demanding perfection, is a tried-and-true method.
You can start implementing some simple harm-reduction techniques this week.
- It is important to eat before drinking. This reduces the alcohol’s impact and slows down its absorption.
- Alternative alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks. Also known as “zebra stripes.”
- Choose drinks with lower ABV. You can moderate your drinking by choosing a spritz or a session IPA.
- Slow down. More time between drinks means less impact overall.
They’re not just tricks but lifestyle changes that will add up in time. They fit into Sunnyside’s goal-oriented, mindful moderation.
What to do about regret after drinking
You are not inconsistent. You’re human.
You can influence your drinking by adjusting your energy level, emotions and environment. Once you realize this, you will be able to stop berating yourself and create a plan for success.
You will be able to move from reacting to a more proactive position by recognizing and understanding your triggers, committing in advance to your goals, defining yourself, and identifying your identity. You’ll feel more proud and less regretful after drinking.
